LONDON, U.K. -- Maybe this is the day to declare lockdown over.
Or half over.
Itâs frankly hard to know where we are on this restless Friday of our national collective struggle.
Weâre supposed to âStay Alert,â but not âStay at Home.â Well, almost. Weâre supposed to âStay at Homeâ if we can work from home, but if we canât work from home, weâre supposed to go to work. And âStay Alert.â
I prefer the Bee Gees âStayinâ Alive.â
We can go to the beach, but a lot of beach towns donât want us to go to the beach.
See?
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Englandâs Chief Medical Officer tells us weâre having winter when itâs really late spring, verging on early summer.
This is actually good news. He means that the death rate has fallen to normal wintertime levels.
Along with that, we got some numbers today that confirm stuff we already knew. Itâs always reassuring, or maybe alarming, when a trade or government agency puts it down in writing.
Online food shopping went up by 83 per cent in April. We knew that because weâve all been online buying flour, toilet paper, and bottles of wine.
The purchase of household goods on line went up by 104 per cent. In our house, we bought a cheap parasol for the terrace, Dettol wipes, candles and paper napkins. Thousands of paper napkins. It was a mistake.
At the same time, online purchases of shoes and clothing dropped 20 per cent. Raise your sanitized hand the last person who bought a pair of jeans over the net.
Iâm waiting for the post-lockdown sales.
Hereâs the most distressing number: when the lockdown is lifted.
It all comes down to one metre.
Imposing a two-metre distancing rule would mean that only 20 per cent of pubs could profitably reopen. Make it a one-metre distancing rule, and most could.
The source on this is the . Those people should know.
Letâs finish today with strawberries. As in, whoâs going to pick them?
Not just strawberriesâfruit and vegetables of all kinds that are normally picked by workers from Eastern Europe. Not this year.
In desperation, the government is looking for 60,000 to 70,000 out-of-work British who are willing to get out there and pick.
âPick For Britain,â as the slogan goes.
Farmers desperately need help, but theyâre worried a lot of Brits will sign up, hate the work, and only last a few days. In other words, they want âpickers that stick,â as opposed to âpickers who arenât stickers.â
Prince Charles was brought in to give the campaign a bit of royal gloss. After all, he too is a farmer.
In a video message, Charles called for a great âland armyâ of workers to get out there andâŚwellâŚstick to it.
Pick for Victory.