LONDON, U.K. -- Dear Diary,
Another sleepless night and then the crazy dog downstairs started yapping, and my phone began beeping, and this all happened before the sun came up. You know, diary, I think Iâm losing it. Day 50. How much longer can this go on?
That bottle of vodka I bought? I canât tell if itâs half-full or half-empty. Either way, itâs half gone. (This is where somebody else would insert one of those wide-eyed smiley faces.)
Youâre right. I should have bought more vodka and less toilet paper. This lockdown is messing with my priorities. You should see the cans of pork and beans in our cupboard. I hate pork and beans.
I have to go now diary, I need to walk the dog and avoid coming into contact with anybody who might remotely be a COVID super spreader. Theyâre still out there, I can feel it, hiding in the bushes, waiting to pounce. Sometimes I think theyâre coming after me.
Told you I was losing it.
Okay, hand-washers, how many of you are really keeping a lockdown diary?
A lot of people in this country areâteams of people in factâwriting down their feelings, their fears, anything about their daily lives as part of a living history project.
The idea goes back to 1937 when three former students at Cambridge started something called, Mass Observationâmostly because they didnât like what the newspapers were describing as the âpublic moodâ in Britain.
It really came to prominence in the war when 500 âcitizen journalistsâ were recruited to write about virtually every aspect of their daily livesâlife on the home front. And they did, in great and personal detail.
The project and the title were both ambitious: âAnthropology of Ourselves.â Winston Churchill used it to craft some of his wartime policies.
The same mass observation technique is being applied to this age of pandemicâalbeit the tools of messaging and posting and vlogging and blogging make it far easier.
âI have an iffy heart,â one diarist wrote. âSo I reckon Iâm in a possible âgoing downhillâ bracket if I catch it.â
Some postings complain about lockdown violators and the âirresponsible mediaâ of course, but also, thereâs a good deal of heartfelt affection towards people they know, and some they donâtâall enduring this ordeal together.
âWhatâs lovely,â the same man wrote, âis folk smiling and waving, sometimes stopping to talk. Iâve stood and chatted to folk for nearly half an hour sometimes.â
So, diary, as I was saying earlier, Iâm reaching my limit. No seriously, there are moments when I just want to rip off my facemask, dump my surgical gloves, throw away my bottle of hand sanitizerâŚand go sunbathing.
Itâs allowed now you know. Prime Minister Boris Johnson said so.
Unfortunately, his health secretary announced today that summer has been cancelled. Good cop, bad cop.
No, no diary. Those arenât tears. And the bottle of vodka is definitely half-empty.